The Gentleman’s Guide To Rough S*x

You would never hit a woman, but your girlfriend and her mom read 50
Shades of Grey and even saw the crappy movie. You're not quite sure
how to approach the subject, and you don't want to ask her mom… But
she's asked you to talk dirty and you're used to making love mirrored
after The Notebook… there's no dirty talk in those s*x scenes.
Fortunately for you, we have an expert to tell you how to talk, spank
and more. "Watching P0*n to become a better lover is like watching The
Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive." The first time I met s*x
lecturer Reid Mihalko he gave the woman next to me an climax by
massaging her ear canals. He is about to bring his popular "Rough s*x
for Nice Folks" to NY on Sept 24 for free. When I asked around among
females I got a universal response: this is something every guy should
be taught and very few guys can do well.

"In this day and age of 50 Shades, kinky P0*n, more and more men are
running into the situation where women are asking them could you rough
me up? Spank me, choke me, and they don't have a clue how," Reid says.
"A lot of well meaning guys who were taught not to hurt people find a
disconnect. I love you but you want me to spank you? Choke you? Maybe
they're waiting for a man to come along who will really, really f**k
them hard. But they don't know how because they've only seen those
things in P0*n." He laughs, "Watching P0*n to become a better lover is
like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive." Rough
s*x has two component halves: Sensual: This is what turns her body on.
Extended foreplay. Specifically by getting active movement in her
pelvic floor. er*tic: This is what turns her brain on. Let's break
this down in a couple scenarios using our favorite couple, David and

Hair Pulling
Easy approach. David and Helen think of doggy-style as kinky in bed.
Tonight they're doing missionary classic when David traces his hand up
her neck and spine and runs his fingers through her hair. Then he
squeezes his hand into a
fist, pinning the back of her head to the mattress. Sensual: David's
fingers in her hair also gives her something to squirm against, the
thrill shooting down the vagus nerve of her spine. It gives her hips
and pelvic floor something to
struggle with. er*tic: In the dark she can't read the intentions on
David's face. If that turns her on they should try a blindfold.

I didn't see this coming, but this is actually quite a lot of fun.
Reid recommends you make it a game. One partner is facedown on the bed
or carpet and the other is lying on top of them. Then the one on the
bottom tries to struggle free. Sensual: the force of moving while
being pinned down can be a turn on for the whole body. It also gives
him or her something to struggle against. er*tic: the mind races,
thinking, "What's he/she going to do to me if he gets the upper hand?"

Falling under the category of "impact play" this works in states of
arousal where pain can register as pleasure. er*tic: "The B-D-S-M and
kink community have as many words to describe this as eskimos do for
snow." There's "thuddy," (Reid says, "Think about getting hit with a
Nerf bat") and "stingy" (the wooden spoon, a ruler, a paddle, a
smack). Sensually it registers a sensation elsewhere in your body.
Spanking 101: "The sweet spot is where the thigh meets the b*tt and it
curves up." Reid adds, "Never spank someone above the belt line or on
the spine directly."

David needs to know that choking is closer to hair pulling than
spanking. er*tic: Whether it's a chokehold while fingering her from
behind, or just holding her down in missionary, choking gives your
partner something to struggle against. Sensual: "It helps create
torque and leverage. And that can heighten pleasure for people."

Dirty Talk
"When your partner says they want you to talk dirty, most people don't
mean a string of swear words."
(Rarely do you meet a girl who fantasizes about going down on a guy
with Tourette's.) For it to be er*tic is a scenario, "You tell her,
'Me and my band of pirates are going to kidnap you and tie you to the
mast and have everyone have a turn.'" The sensual part is, of course,
that you're unclad and touching each other while you talk like you
never would in public.

The fun and surprising part of getting rough: it favors couples who
have been together and share a comfortable space together.
Conventional wisdom says the Netflix and Sweatpants Set has given up
on the bedroom. But they are so far and ahead of the swinging singles
trying to talk dirty with some stranger on Tinder and also keep it
down because their roommates are home.
It works great if you already have a relationship in which you can
tell them what you want and allow them to tell you what they want. "If
that's not organic, you create a power play. Make it a game where they
have to ask–kiss me, touch me here, kiss my neck, pull my hair—or else
you'll stop."
For tour dates, classes and other fun stuff, check out Reid's website.
Protip: Mark down his dates on your calendar rather than RSVP on
Facebook. You don't want to explain to yourself and to all the girls
you know, as I did last fall when Facebook decided to tell the
universe and my girlfriend's mom that "Brendan Sullivan went to Reid
Mihalko's Workshop: 'Negotiating Successful Threesomes.'"

BY: Bigi Benson
CEO of
Contact: +233579090453

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